Why I attempted suicide three times – Retired African Church canon
Reverend Canon Olugbenga Gbadebo, a retired cleric of the African Church, speaks with BOLA BAMIGBOLA about his experiences as a journalist and journey to becoming a clergyman
How would you describe your childhood?
I am a native of Ilesa and was formerly with the African Church. I was born on Thursday, October 17, 1959. My upbringing was satisfactory, even though I was raised in a polygamous home. My father was a teacher with four wives, and my mother was the first. I am the seventh out of my father’s 13 children.
I attended African Church Primary School in Ilesa and proceeded to Ilesa Grammar School in the 1970s. I furthered my education at the Divisional Teachers College in Ijebu-Jesa. Later, I attended Lagos State University, where I was elected president of the Federation of Ijesa Students’ Union. I earned a Bachelor’s Degree in English Language there.
I did not complete my university education on time due to the iron fist with which Gen. Ibrahim Babangida ruled. He closed many tertiary institutions during his eight-year rule.
Unfortunately, I could not find a job, which led me to sleep on church premises at the back of the Durba Hotel in Lagos for two years, seven months, and 13 days.
Can you shed more light on the incident that made you take up accommodation in the church?
I searched for a job but couldn’t find any, and this made me to start sleeping in the church because I could not afford to rent decent accommodation. To the glory of God, I eventually got a job as an inexperienced and untrained journalist with the Independent newspaper, owned by the former governor of Delta State, James Ibori.
Later, I gained admission to the Nigerian Institute of Journalism in Lagos, after which I began to write for Tell Magazine as a trained journalist.
What made you leave teaching for journalism?
I became tired of teaching, which is why I left and went to university to study the English language. I love to write and have been involved in writing since my primary school days. I had an interest in journalism from then because my father studied journalism through correspondence but could not practice.
What was the experience like while sleeping in the church?
I was the church cleaner, security guard, and an assistant to the General Overseer of the church. People did not even know I was a university graduate at the time. The church wanted to pay me a salary, but I told them I wanted to work for God, not for money. God was taking care of me during those hectic and challenging years. When I rejected the money, they thought I was angry because the salary was too small. That was not the reason; I just wanted to work for God.
How were you able to feed and take care of your other needs without a job?
God was taking care of me in miraculous ways. People were giving me money because I was always praying for them, not knowing that eventually, I would become a man of God. Some of them even thought I was a pastor at the time. I worked day and night at the church, and at the end of the service, when everyone had gone home; I would be the only one left. There was no electricity, but they later installed electricity before I left.
What was your experience like working for Tell Magazine?
Working with Tell Magazine was very interesting. I was in charge of Milestones. Any Nigerian who wanted to celebrate their birthday would have their story written by me. I wrote about many people, including Obasanjo, Danjuma, and others. I wrote about the former Health Minister during Babangida’s regime, Professor Olikoye Ransome-Kuti, and many others.
The interest in writing about so many Nigerians was strong. I also wrote about some deceased important personalities, highlighting their achievements. I had an interest in writing about people and places. I was dedicated to the job, going to work even on Sundays and Christmas Day, and I was appreciated by my colleagues. To this day, I still write on Facebook, posting stories on religious, political, and even sports matters.
In the course of your journalism career, can you recall some of your meetings with important personalities?
Lest I forget, I also wrote about sports and entertainment. I met King Sunny Ade on different occasions and Chief Ebenezer Obey. People appreciated me a lot—not monetarily, but they valued my ingenuity. I wrote about Wole Soyinka, Gani Fawehinmi, and many eminent Nigerians.
Can you recall any of them that treated you poorly?
None of the people I met treated me badly. I would like to emphasise that the majority of the people I wrote about don’t even know that I was the one behind the write-ups.
Obasanjo never knew me, but I was writing about him. I would go to the library, source stories on their biographies, and write. Theophilus Danjuma has never met me to this day, even Professor Wole Soyinka but I wrote about them and the stories got published. When the stories get published, people just appreciate me through their comments.
You recently said that for 13 years, you refused to work for God despite having a call to do so. Can you share what happened during that period?
For 13 years, God continued to call me, but I refused because I thought I didn’t have what it takes to be a clergy. Throughout those 13 years, nothing was moving. I became tired of life. It got to a point where I attempted suicide.
How do you know God was calling you at the time?
I told you that during my stay in that church, I used to pray for people, and probably two to four weeks later, they would come to give testimonies. Whenever they came to the church and didn’t meet the General Overseer, they would call me to pray for them, and I would do so. At the end of the day, they would testify.
After my graduation, a pastor from the Cherubim and Seraphim met me and said he saw me in front of a crowd, holding a stick. I thought it was a stick belonging to a cattle rearer; I didn’t know it was the stick of a shepherd.
For those 13 years, God was revealing things to me. During my journalism career, I visited Aso Rock Villa on five occasions. One day, a pastor met me and told me that even if I worked for Obasanjo, he would eventually play me like a football. He said I should go and work for God so that my glory could shine. When I received that revelation from that man of God, I knew it was time because, despite visiting Aso Rock five times, there was no good result.
What were you going to the Aso Rock Villa to do?
I was the Media Affairs Coordinator of a non-governmental organisation called the National Traders and Market Leaders Council of Nigeria. We were seeking loans for Nigerian traders from the National Poverty Eradication Programme, headed by Dr Magnus Kpakol. Before we could secure that loan, we needed to write a letter to President Obasanjo for consent.
I was the one who drafted the letter; the national president would just append her signature. I went to Aso Rock for that purpose, and at the same time, wanted to use one stone to kill two birds. I went there with my credentials, thinking that I would get a job inside Aso Rock. For those five visits, nothing came of it. On one occasion, I saw the Senior Special Adviser to President Obasanjo on Political Matters, Dr Gbolade Osinowo. He was the one who would take the letter to President Obasanjo. That was between 2002 and 2006, the years during which I visited Aso Rock Villa.
The fifth visit that made me stop going to Aso Rock was when I took a letter to Osinowo and he looked at the second paragraph of the letter and said, “Gbadebo, Baba (Obasanjo) will not like this second paragraph. Rewrite it because I and Obasanjo will be going to Singapore tonight. Go and rewrite it outside.” As I was about to open the door and exit his office, I asked, “What about Rilewa?” He asked me how I knew his daughter. I told him she was my coursemate back in university. He said I should give the letter to his secretary, and she would rewrite the second paragraph.
What did you put in that paragraph that he said Obasanjo may not like?
In that second paragraph, we stated that Obasanjo should grant us the loan instead of asking Kpakol to grant our request. We specified that Obasanjo should grant the loan. You see, we were not writing the letter directly to him; we were supposed to address it to Kpakol, who was in charge of NAPEP at the time. That was what he didn’t like.
In the end, I did not present the letter and left in anger. Ultimately, I sent the letter directly to Kpakol, but nothing came of it. The letter was rewritten and forwarded to NAPEP instead of the presidency, and until our national president, Mrs Adetutu Odunsi, passed away, nothing happened.
At the end of the day, I became a clergy after many struggles for 13 years. In the 14th year, I surrendered to God.
So you felt the inability to make a breakthrough during those years was a result of your refusal to yield to the instructions to work as a clergy?
Yes, I met many prominent Nigerians, including the former Nigerian Ambassador to Turkey and Uganda, Dr Oladapo Fafowora, and the former Nigerian Ambassador to Spain, Dr Isaac Aluko-Olokun. The late Oba of Lagos, Oba Adeyinka Oyekan, assisted me in gaining admission into the Lagos State University. After my studies, I wrote a letter of appreciation to him and he asked me where I wanted to work, and I mentioned three organisations – the Nigeria Deposit Insurance Corporation and Guinness Nigeria. He gave me two letters to those companies, which I submitted, but nothing became of them. Despite my connections to prominent people, there was nothing to show for it. That prompted my decision to serve God.
When you decided to respond to the divine call, what steps did you take?
I took my admission exam at the African College of Theology in Ibafo, Lagos, and was offered admission. I later became a Deacon, then a priest, and eventually a Reverend Canon until the mandatory retirement age of 65 in the African Church. I retired recently.
How would you describe serving as a clergy?
My experience in the vineyard was superb. Wherever I went, the glory of God always shone overwhelmingly. The first church I was posted to was in Mafoluku. For 33 years, flooding from Muritala Muhammed Airport would flow into that church. At a time, for three consecutive Sundays, we were unable to worship. When I first arrived there, God instructed us to pray for 21 Sundays. On the 10th Sunday, we observed our prayer there, and the place was filled. We then moved to a better location in Mafoluku.
The second church was in Ikorodu. For 17 years, they did not have electricity. When I arrived, they finally got electricity, which continues to this day. For 13 years, they could not complete their Mission House, but once I got there, God used me, and the place is now habitable.
On Monday, September 16, 2019, I moved into the Mission House, and we later added shops that were not there before I was posted. I retired at the Cathedral of St. Peter in Ile Ife. Wherever the church posted me, people would come to the cathedral to give testimonies.
What are those experiences you would consider not good in your career as a clergy?
Even Jesus Christ, sent by His Father, suffered at the hands of the Pharisees and High Priests. I am thankful for the ever-loving laity members of the African Church; they showed me love. I was frustrated before I could become a full priest due to colleagues who claimed to love me but harboured hatred behind my back. It was a hellish experience. I am grateful that God granted me victory in the end.
Can you share some of the things those friends you mentioned did behind your back?
I faced envy and bitterness, but when you are focused and know you are serving a living God who has called you, there is no need to fear. There will be frustration, intimidation, and persecution, but when you know the God you serve, you need not fear. God Almighty will grant you victory in the end. That was my experience; God fought for me until the end because I diligently performed my duties. On the day of my retirement service, people cried as if I were going to my final home. Laity members were in tears, and I couldn’t console myself that day. Even the Bishop in Abuja, Most Reverend Peter Ogunmuyiwa, mentioned on Facebook that they wanted me back in a different capacity in the African Church, indicating they recognised my worth.
What role does the craving for material things play in the bitter struggles among clergymen like the ones you mentioned?
That craving is detrimental to Nigerians. They have forgotten that one day, they will leave all those material possessions behind. What is money, after all? Just a means to feed and clothe yourself. God will provide for those needs. People should adopt contentment as their trademark.
How did you meet your wife?
It was planned by God. Someone who has suffered as much as I have would be expected to encounter challenges regarding marriage, but I thank God for guiding me. My wife, Adenike Fashina, is an Anglican. The wife of the Lord Bishop of Ijebu Diocese of the Anglican Communion, Mrs Adenike Omoyajowo, predicted that my wife would marry a clergyman. So, when I approached Adenike, she remembered that prediction. I balanced my family and church activities, ensuring that church responsibilities didn’t prevent me from caring for my home. She also assists me in my ministerial activities. She is involved in business and is very active in church.
You mentioned attempting suicide on three occasions due to frustration. What precisely did you do on those occasions?
During my farewell sermon, I shared that people should learn two lessons from my journey. One of those is that if God calls you, don’t argue or be stubborn. After recounting what I went through, I revealed that I had wanted to commit suicide on three occasions because of my stubbornness. I wanted to touch a live wire. I just heard a voice saying, “Don’t kill yourself; you will still serve me.” I also contemplated drinking poison, but I heard that voice again. On the third occasion, I called a professor and asked him to give me an injection that would kill me. I was so poor that I couldn’t afford transportation in Lagos. The “Agberos” used to introduce me to bus conductors as staff so that I could escape paying the fare. Despite being a university graduate and having worked for Tell magazine, I had no money.
With all you went through at the hands of your colleagues, would you oppose any of your children becoming clergymen?
I can never oppose any of my children’s decision to become clergy, provided God calls them. If God does not call you, you will only mess up your ministerial work.
What are your plans now that you have retired?
Some wise people say that man proposes, but God disposes. God’s ideas are quite different from those of man. I have my plans, and if the African Church keeps its promise, I can still return to the church. Although I bid them farewell on Sunday, October 20, I may still be useful to them—not as a priest again, but as an experienced journalist.
Many believe that old age can be an advantage for people in your line of work. Don’t you think that the 65-year retirement age can be a bit premature for clergymen?
The Constitution of the African Church, which stipulates 65 as the retirement age, has, over the years, deprived the church of its brightest and best. The Anglican Communion and other Christian denominations have set the retirement age at 70.
What do you do in your leisure time?
I love music and sports. I enjoy listening to Ebenezer Obey; everyone in my family loves his music. I even sing Obey’s songs while delivering sermons. I also support Chelsea Football Club. I prefer not to watch football games at home because my wife does not love sports, and I wouldn’t want to disturb her, so I go out to watch.
