‘Who does virginity till marriage help?’
Mummy,
You have been giving me bad advice. Good girl no dey pay… I have managed to keep my virginity till now that I am 23 years old! I am sponsoring myself in school with no help—no parents to support me. The only people willing to help are men, but only on the condition that they sleep with me. Meanwhile, my roommate is enjoying life. She has an iPhone 15, enough food, nice clothes, and is always the first to pay her share of bills and school fees. She’s into hookups. I struggle every day with nothing to show for it. I’m tired of life. In 2025, it’s either I quit school or I join the gang. You can’t blame me. God will not judge me, will He?
Sandra
My darling, precious, glorious, dignified, world-famous, and heavenly celebrated Nigerian sisters,
On social media, I keep seeing people ask, “Who virginity epp?” meaning “Who does virginity help?” Too many young girls are engaging in sexual intercourse as if it’s just another indoor game. Some have even long chosen that path to escape family poverty. Sadly, many parents encourage their daughters to follow this dangerous route. Below are some responses to the letter I published a few weeks back.
Dear Sandra,
I am 27 and still a virgin. I have suffered so much hardship, but I didn’t give up on God because I know He will see me through. I always comfort myself with Bible verses because God’s word must surely come to pass in my life.
Being a Christian and a virgin does not mean challenges won’t come. In fact, this is when the devil and his cohorts will orchestrate big problems to make you disobey God and lose your glory to nonsense and rubbish. He knows that anyone who chooses purity is a threat to the kingdom of darkness, so his attacks will be relentless. But if you believe in God and refuse to judge Him as unfaithful, He will show up and save you before you get messed up. I am a living testimony of God’s goodness.
If there are no challenges, there is nothing for the power of God to work upon. That is why Psalm 23:4 says: “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.” (KJV)
Dear Sandra,
I just finished my NYSC two days ago, and I will be 26 this year. I struggled to fend for myself. I never had parental love—my parents separated when I was just two years old! I don’t even know what a real family feels like. But even in the worst of situations, I kept myself for God.
God didn’t create you for nothing! There is a reason you had to go through all you did. Yes, it’s not easy at all! But at the same time, bad girl no pay! I’m super proud of myself! Mummy Temilolu Okeowo, eku ise ma! God will reward you!
Dear Sandra,
This is just a phase, and it will surely pass. Maybe it’s a test to see if you will remain steadfast. And where there is a test, there is always promotion ahead.
I believe you will get financial help soon. But even if not, this difficult time will pass. I pray you pass this test because tougher ones will still come. If there are virgins in their late 30s and beyond, you have no excuse before God to abandon sexual purity. The God who preserved you until now has bigger plans for you than you can ever imagine. May God bless you. Amen.
Dear Sandra,
I am 21 and still a virgin. I also experience hardship, but no man has ever seen my nakedness. I am content with what I have. Even while in school, I do side hustles to take care of myself. I can’t even depend on my parents because they don’t have money. My watchword is: Anything I don’t have today, I will have tomorrow.
Keep your virginity to honour God. An iPhone will come and go. Many girls lost their virginity when BlackBerry phones were in vogue. Where is BlackBerry today? The world has moved on, and it will keep moving. May God help us all!
I invite you to follow me on Facebook –TEMILOLU OKEOWO Instagram @Okeowotemilolu.
Are you still engaging in pre-marital sex? Each act devalues you! Your wonders are waiting to start. God is waiting for you to become a Secondary virgin! You are most welcome on board the chastity campaign train and Girls Club is open for all girls and ladies. Please text your name, age, school or occupation and State of domicile to 07086620576.
