PATERNITY FRAUD: FATHERS’ NIGHTMARE
By Yemisi Suleiman
This Father’s Day, as we celebrate the importance of fatherhood and the pivotal role fathers play in shaping lives, a stark reality demands attention– Paternity fraud!
The emotional and financial tolls of paternity fraud can be significant, and the issue is, unfortunately, more common than many people realise.
Paternity fraud is a silent, currently ongoing epidemic, that has left countless men reeling, their trust shattered and their sense of identity shaken.
In this special issue, we delve into the complex and sensitive issue of paternity fraud, speaking with men who, though not victims themselves, offer candid insights and thought-provoking solutions.
Enjoy…
Make DNA testing at birth mandatory…… Sola Oyebade CEO, Mahogany International and Founder, Fashions Finest Africa.
What is your most memorable experience as a father?
My most memorable experience as a father was watching the birth of my first child. To me it was like a miracle knowing that a small seed from me created this most amazing, beautiful child. I would never ever forget that experience. Since then, everyday with my children is a memorable experience.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud that is currently becoming an issue in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
Sadly, paternity fraud is becoming an epidemic and men in particular are in a very difficult situation.
On one hand, you feel and want to trust your wife or partner and not want to question the paternity of your child, but on the other hand, with the growing increase in paternity fraud, men now feel they must protect themselves; and the only way to do this, is by doing a DNA test.
Sadly, when you do this and you find out the child is yours, it can bring distrust into the relationship, but if the child is not yours, it gives a feeling of betrayal and can potentially end the relationship. Either way, it is a lose-lose.
In the long run, the only way to reduce paternity fraud is to make DNA testing at birth mandatory.
Quickly conduct a DNA Test…..Charles Agbo
Creative Director, Kamsi Tcharles
What is your most memorable experience as a father?
It is that sense of love your children bring to your life. For me, hiding in the morning to leave the house because my son will not let me go and the way he reacts when he sees me coming back from work, all that is heart-warming. Personally, I alway cherish that.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud that is currently becoming an issue in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
I experienced this and in my case, I had to go all the way through paternity test to confirm that a child that was said to be mine, wasn’t mine!
I can’t tell the whole story here, but it was really crazy. What I spent trying to get the mother to travel overseas to give birth, almost ruined me. l spent a lot because I felt that was my child and I wanted to ensure that the child got the best of me and be at a better place. I ended up spending a lot of money in order to achieve that.
From the month we were told we were expecting, to an extra three months later, all sorts of crazy stuff happened. It was at that point I felt there was something wrong somewhere and then finally, I had to go do DNA test, only to confirm that it wasn’t mine. And to be honest, at some point, I was already hoping, it turned out to be mine. As fate would have it, it turned out not to be mine. It was really devastating.
I am grateful that it happened when it did. I drew strength from knowing that it was better than having to raise a child in lies.
I will advise anybody in doubt to quickly see how a DNA test can be conducted and all doubts sorted out early so you do not put yourself through unnecessary mental torture.
Do all checks before marriage……Efosa Iyamu Politician and entertainment executive, Effex Entertainment company.
What is your most memorable experience as a father?
There are a lot of beautiful moments but one of my most memorable experience was when my first daughter graduated from primary into secondary school.
She graduated as the overall best student of her school. So, you can imagine how I felt on her valedictory event, go on stage and recieving her certificate as best in mathematics, best in English, best in this, best in that. It was an amazing moment. It took me back to the day she was born and how I held her for the first time.
As a father, I love being called different names but my best name is dad. I just love being called dad from my children.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud that is currently becoming a menace in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
It’s extremely disheartening, if you ask me. Even if you were given a child for just one day and the next day someone comes and says the child is not yours, that kills the love and acceptance that you have already showed towards the child. God forbid! For me, I don’t want to know, I love my wife, and I love my children.
This issue is a very sensitive one and I try not to dabble into it. I will advice that before anyone gets married, they should check the blood group and genotypes, even character assassination from families should be checked. This is not about love, it is about doing the right thing.
Parties Involved Should Come Out Open….. Viola Kabiri, Creative Director, Vivi Kabiri
What is your most memorable experience as a father?
The most memorable experience for me is having to wheel my wife in for CS, the pain before the process and the joy that comes after the process.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud, that is currently becoming an issue in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
This happens when husband and wife are not being truthful to themselves or when the hospital gives wrong child to a parent when a child is born.
To solve this, I believe parties involved need to come out open especially the woman. She is the only one who can tell who the father of her child is. Also, hospitals have to be more detailed and professional in their dealings with clients.
Men should take proactive steps to prevent paternity fraud…….. Issac Nwankwo, Lawyer/Corporate Governance Professional.
What’s your most memorable experience as a father?
There is nothing quite like being called “Daddy” by these little creatures for the simplest of things, whether it’s cracking jokes or watching their attentive faces when we study together. Each time I hear them call me “Daddy,” I’m deeply humbled.
The title “Daddy”carries a weight that is indescribable. It’s a constant source of joy and motivation, reinforcing the importance of being a guiding and supportive presence in their lives.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud that is currently becoming an issue in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
Being deceived about such a fundamental aspect of one’s life can be devastating.The issue of paternity fraud is not new-it’s as old as humanity itself. Given its prevalence, men must take proactive steps to protect themselves. Take a perternity test to provide early confirmation of a child’s biological father before the child is born.
Also, if doubts arise after the child’s birth, do a postnatal paternity tests using DNA samples from the father and child.
By taking proactive steps-such as paternity testing, seeking counselling, building a foundation of trust, and practicing chastity, fathers can protect themselves from the potential harms of paternity fraud.
Women cheat to get Back at their husband ….. Chimezirim Akanu Orji
CEO, The Absolute Robotics Ltd.
What is your most memorable experience as a father?
I was in London when my first child was born. I was to be there but I missed my flight.
The most memorable however, was when I held my daughter in my arms. The feeling was just surreal. It’s deeper than what anybody can express. I have three children now, but that very first one was different.
Some families’ joy is cut short by paternity fraud that is currently becoming an issue in marriages; how can fathers protect themselves from this menace?
First, I think before you go into a relationship with a woman, you need to be very sure and women need assurance that you can protect them and that with you, she is safe. Now, women cheat sometimes because they want to get back at their husband or they want to retaliate.
If you look at all your children and they look like you, it would be difficult for you to go do a DNA. What if you go, and you find out that you are the father, how would the woman feel?
But in all honesty, for me, if I ever grow up with children who are not mine, they will forever remain my children because paternity is not all about you being the biological father, it’s about you recreating yourself in someone else.
I warn every woman: if you’re married, stay with your husband. Men should stay with their wife too but the consequences are graver on women.
