By Bamidele Ademola-Olateju
A few minutes ago, I finished reading and loving the 2,200+ comments on my profile picture. I posted the picture on my birthday. Before then, many disagreeable individuals have taken liberty of my public setting to insult my friends and I. After a careful study, I noticed 90% of people who do this are not my friends. They only take advantage of my openness and the anonymity of the keyboard to diffuse their bile. I was fed up and I restricted comments to friends only. Since the restrictions, my timeline has been largely civil. They have taken their hanger (yes, it is correct) to their own walls. I really don’t care about that. We all have responsibility for our walls. By putting restrictions in place, I have alienated almost 40, 000 well-meaning followers who have stood by me. Many have written to ask if it was something they did. Many have asked me to reconsider, given the 5,000 limit placed on friendship.
Since profile pictures are public and comments on it cannot be restricted, when I changed my profile picture on my birthday, many good people who were not able to comment on my updates were able to. They left me kind words, wishes and prayers. Reading through every comment, the words of Jack Welsh, the former CEO of General Electric kept surging in my gut. He said; if you do not define yourself, someone else will. Should I be defined by the action of others or allow myself to act based on the designs of another? Hell No!
I do not hold public office, yet you gave me so much to be joyful about on my birthday. I am just the opinionated girl next door, yet you celebrated me. I have not given no money nor any incentive, for you, to like me. You like me either for my persona, what I stand for or what I write. You came out to celebrate me as if I am your sister, cousin, niece, daughter, aunt or mother. I am grateful, thank you. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I have spent two weeks reading comments, accepting the tags and replying the messages in box. I have not touched the comments on the photographs I posted. It took me that long because Facebook sometimes withdrew my ability to like due to “excessive use”. I have stood for openness all my life and I still do. There are better ways to deal with bitter people. I can delete insults, I can hide odious comments. I can also return the favor (I do that when sufficiently provoked).
Tonight I rescind my decision. My updates will now be open for comments by anyone. I cannot in good conscience leave well meaning people out because of a few incorrigible people. Èébú ò so nau. If you Tarka me I Daboh you. I stand for openness. Oya, Wọlé! Enter! Shiga!
