Why I attempted suicide in church– Spinal cord patient
Having survived a life-altering injury that upended his world in 2006, Ejikeme Nwachimereze shares with TEMITOPE ADETUNJI how the setback forced him to confront unimaginable challenges, transforming his pain into resilience and struggles into a renewed sense of purpose that rewrote his life’s story
Could you share the factors or experiences that ultimately led to your condition?
I am from Enugu State, where I currently live. I used to live in Kebbi State, where I worked as an automobile electrician. In 2006, I was assaulted, and the attack severely injured my spine, particularly at the C5 and C6 vertebrae. This injury restricted my mobility, though I could still use my hands to some extent. In 2010, I decided to undergo surgery in the hope of improving my condition, but unfortunately, the procedure led to further complications, worsening my state and completely limiting the movement in my hands.
Could you give some details of the assault?
I was selling car batteries and other accessories. One evening, around 8 p.m., someone called me to help fix the radiator of a Mitsubishi Canter truck. By the time I finished the job, it was quite late, so I decided to board a motorcycle home. The rider already had a passenger, so I just joined them.
As he was about to drop me off, he said the fare was N20. Since the distance wasn’t far and the standard fare was N10, I handed him N10.
He argued with me briefly but eventually seemed to let it go, so I thought the matter was settled. However, the other passenger suddenly became confrontational, insisting that I pay the full amount. When I questioned him, he became aggressive, and the situation quickly escalated.
He suddenly grabbed me by the collar, lifted and threw me to the ground, where I hit my head and back on the concrete. The impact caused me to black out. When I regained consciousness, I couldn’t move any part of my body. The doctor later told me that the impact had caused a severe spinal cord injury. That’s how I lost the ability to stand or even speak properly.
What was the reaction of your family and friends after the incident?
I am the first son and have an older sister and younger siblings. When this happened, my family and friends were devastated. No one expected it. In our culture, after you finish learning a trade (apprenticeship), you are given a certain amount of money (settlement) to start your own business.
In my case, I was sent to serve with the hope of building a future afterwards, but my dreams were shattered. My family had high hopes and expected that I would eventually relieve them of their financial burdens. Sadly, that hope was dashed, and it affected everyone deeply.
After the incident, my mother had to relocate from Akure to Enugu to be with me. The accident happened in Kebbi State, but I moved to Enugu to receive proper treatment for my spinal cord injury at the National Orthopaedic Hospital. I started using a wheelchair after being discharged and went through physiotherapy at a rehabilitation centre. I have been in a wheelchair for over 18 years now.
I deprived my father of his wife’s companionship for over 15 years, as she needed to care for me. Sometimes, I feel that this separation contributed to his passing. He died in 2022, but I believe he might have lived longer if I had been fit enough to care for myself and allow my mother to stay by his side.
How do you feel about the situation?
It has been challenging. After the injury, I had to find ways to adapt and support myself despite the difficulties. Someone advised me to start selling data, assisting people with cable TV subscriptions, and paying electricity bills, among other services. I’ve been doing this for over eight years now, and it’s how I sustain myself financially.
Unfortunately, in November 2022, I suffered another setback. I was exercising to reduce stiffness in my body and ended up breaking my femur (thigh bone) and elbow. This happened while I was sitting in a yoga position, trying to stretch and relax, and I accidentally put too much pressure on my legs. I had surgery but ended up breaking the femur again while manoeuvring in my wheelchair. As a result, I’ve had to undergo multiple surgeries.
How has life been since the incident?
It hasn’t been easy. You feel abandoned and distant from friends. There are lots of emotions, and they’re real—you can’t escape them. But you have to learn how to cry, wipe your tears, and keep going. Sometimes, you even feel tempted to commit suicide. But, by God’s grace, there are moments of mercy.
Could you share a specific moment when you felt depressed?
It happened more than once or twice. There was one particular time in 2009 when I took a sleeping pill intending to end it all. At the time, I was staying in a mission house in Anambra State. I asked one of the boys to help me to the church, which he did without knowing my true intention.
I told him to buy me a sleeping pill and a sachet of water. When he brought them, I asked him to lay out a mat for me and then leave. Instead of taking a single tablet, I took 10. I deleted all my messages and set my phone on alert so people wouldn’t immediately realise I was gone.
But the strange thing was that nothing happened. I didn’t sleep, let alone die. I just felt it wasn’t my time because some things are beyond us—there are forces beyond the physical. Typically, that dosage would be fatal. I even consulted a doctor, who confirmed it would be lethal. He called me back several times, but I didn’t answer; I had already made up my mind. After taking the dose, I thought it was the end, but here I am, still alive. Despite the pain and challenges, I believe I still have a purpose to fulfil and things to accomplish.
How would you describe accessibility in public spaces for persons with disabilities?
That’s an ongoing struggle. I’m the Chairman for Persons Living with Spinal Cord Injury in Enugu State, and we work every day to advocate accessibility. Recently, we visited the airport to raise awareness about our needs, like accessible restrooms and easier boarding for people with physical challenges.
It’s not easy, though. For instance, each time I visit the bank, I’m made to enter through the back door and lift the stairs.
It’s frustrating because there’s still little consideration for people with disabilities, especially those who use wheelchairs to access public infrastructure.
Even though they open accounts for people like us, discrimination persists. I refuse to believe it’s because they lack the resources to make the necessary changes. However, some banks have addressed this by building ramps and ensuring that their entrances and security doors are wide enough to allow wheelchair access.
My journey has certainly taken a toll on my mental and emotional health. It feels like a constant battle. Some days, I feel sick, frustrated, and close to snapping. It can even push me to the point of begging for help.
The struggle to live a comfortable life can be overwhelming, and it impacts your psyche. But it takes strength to remind yourself that you’re not defined by your condition. You can be physically sick but still mentally strong.
Daily, I check myself to ensure I don’t lose my sense of value or become irrational, which could lead to decisions made out of frustration. I strive to live within my means and not burden others unnecessarily, even though some people do offer their company, friendship, or financial support.
These gestures help, but the emotional toll is real. We constantly check ourselves to maintain our dignity and avoid falling into a mindset of feeling like a beggar.
As for discrimination, I’ve faced plenty. In 2016, I got involved in a business venture with someone and invested N150,000. He promised to match my investment, and we set up a production company, but he never returned my money. Over time, he prospered, bought a car, acquired extra properties, and lived comfortably—all the while ignoring me. It was painful because I believe if I were physically strong, he might have feared that I would confront him about my investment.
I also loaned another friend half a million. He promised to repay it within a week, but to this day, he hasn’t paid the full amount. I even involved the police to get him to pay, but he still hasn’t paid all. These situations are emotionally draining.
One time I was traveling and the driver refused to carry me, claiming it would be too much trouble. I wasn’t asking for a free ride or special treatment. Some people can understand one’s condition but others’ unkindness can really cause one emotional distress, leading to feelings of depression and regret. Despite this, I can’t change people’s behaviour, so I try to move on and swallow the hurt.
What advice do you have for people living with a disability?
To people living with disabilities and facing discrimination, my advice is to cry when necessary. It’s okay to feel pain, to acknowledge the struggles, but don’t dwell there. We are human, and it’s important to feel those emotions, but it’s equally important not to stay stuck in them. I cry when I need to, but I always try to keep moving forward.
Joining a support group like Rebuild Hope on Wheel Initiative would be helpful, especially for those with spinal cord injuries.
In the group, you would realise that you’re not alone, especially in terms of discrimination. Many of us go through it.
For instance, conditions like urine leakage may cause discomfort to others, and they may discriminate against you. Yet, many facilities aren’t well-maintained either. Comparing these situations can remind you that you’re not isolated. When you’re with others who share your condition, you feel a sense of comfort. You’ll see that discrimination is a reality for many, even those without disabilities, and that helps to reduce feelings of isolation.
You might feel bad about it because no one enjoys being treated unfairly, but learning how to cope is essential. As people with spinal cord injuries, we don’t always handle discrimination well. It’s tough, but you have to try your best, keep moving forward, and forgive those who’ve caused you pain.
How have you managed to stay positive through all these challenges?
It’s been painful, especially since I wasn’t born this way. But I try to find comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one in this situation. Many people are dealing with challenges. I was just trying to get better, which is why I went for the surgery, but unfortunately, it only worsened my condition.
I believe that as long as you’re alive, you have to keep participating in life. You can’t just isolate yourself or feel useless. I try my best to contribute in whatever way I can and be responsible. Life goes on, and I don’t want to see myself as someone without value.
Are you married or in a relationship
No, I’m not and I wouldn’t say I am in a relationship. However, I have female friends. At the time I was an apprentice, and I didn’t have the financial strength to maintain a relationship.
I’m 44 years old, and many people expect me to be married or have kids by now, but my condition disrupted all my plans. As an Igbo man, we believe we must provide for our women and this is the same for many African men.
However, due to my health, I can’t provide in the capacity expected, and I don’t have the resources to maintain a relationship. After the incident, I couldn’t marry as I had planned. I asked a few women out, but they backed out. After some time, I realised it wasn’t feasible.
What changes would you like to see in society’s attitude towards people with disabilities?
Disability can arise from accidents or simply as we age. As we grow older, we become more vulnerable to disability, which is why accessibility in public spaces is so important. For example, when designing buildings, it’s essential to incorporate ramps and proper entryways to ensure that everyone can access them.
In society, there’s a need for a shift in how people with disabilities are treated. Too often, there is surface-level sympathy that doesn’t translate into lasting change. People may express understanding when they see us, but the support fades quickly once they leave. We need a more consistent effort to create inclusive environments where people with disabilities can live with dignity. This includes making everyday spaces more accessible, and ensuring that discriminatory behaviours are addressed, so we don’t feel marginalised.
What are you grateful for?
I am grateful for life. Living with a disability has taught me that you can’t predict tomorrow. Life can change at any moment. What matters is that you live today, do your best, and try to make good choices, even though you don’t know what the future holds. We should be active, do what we can, and choose the good side of life.
